


Unexpected Revelations

by carmenta



Series: Understandings [2]
Category: Vampire Chronicles - Rice
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-06-01
Updated: 1999-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-08 02:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmenta/pseuds/carmenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armand and Santino are traveling together, when Marius comes to take his fledgling home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with CC.

_Santino_

Despite the late hour, the streets in the Old Quarter of Barcelona were still crowded with people; tourists and locals, old and young, gave the city an atmosphere of life so intense that I had rarely found until now. Never before had I been here, and the sheer multitude and variety of people amazed me. It had been a good idea to come here, for crowds meant safety and anonymity. Nobody would remember an auburn haired youth and a man dressed in black, just two of countless faces, nothing more.

Travelling with Armand was something I still had to get used to. It was strange to suddenly have company when I had been so accustomed to being alone that it had seemed to me the most comfortable way to live. There had hardly ever been anybody else to consider in my plans, and to suddenly have another person who had his own ideas was something that could unsettle me at times. Still I wouldn't have wanted to miss this time; the last five months I had really enjoyed.

We had chosen to leave Venice and go to Spain, a country neither of us had been to longer than a few weeks before. It was a new world, un mundo nuevo, as I liked to call it since I had begun to learn Spanish. Armand was fluent in this tongue, and had been surprised to hear that I had never before felt it necessary to be able to speak it. He had offered to teach me the basics, and apparently enjoyed it enormously to hear me make the most ridiculous mistakes.

To me he still was a mystery, and would probably remain like this forever. He had not returned to his children yet, though I was certain that they were still important to him. Something about them disturbed him too much to go back, and he hardly ever mentioned their names, or their maker. It was a sort of unspoken agreement between us that the latest additions to the Coven were not a topic to talk about if it could be avoided. To me they were nothing more than another violation of the laws we all had agreed on, and who cared if any of the rules were broken, especially if Marius was doing it? Marius, who had always tried to keep everybody out of trouble, had committed a crime against his own laws. Who would have thought that this could happen, that Marius could be able to do something he was not allowed to. Apparently the rules did not apply to him; the creator of the laws himself does not have to obey them. Only the average vampire had to live according to the rules, and would be punished if he violated them. But what was it that gave Marius a different status than the rest of us? He scolded Lestat whenever the Brat returned from one of his adventures, and now he made mistakes himself. Was this just?

Sometimes I wondered if he knew that Armand and I had spent the last months together. It was likely that he had found out about this by now; even though we had not spoken to anybody about it, news spread quickly in the Coven. What he would think about this? Apparently he accepted it, or he would have come here already to show his disapproval. Of course there still was the possibility that he didn't know, but I didn't believe that it could be this way. It was strange that he had not looked for his fledgling yet, after all nearly half a year had passed since Armand had left New Orleans, his Padrone, his children. Five months. Maybe Marius thought that Armand needed to distance himself from the others.

Tonight, after we had hunted, Armand and I had been wandering through the crowded streets without a specific destination, talking. This was something I liked to do, discussing something with a friend. And I did consider Armand a friend now, one of the few I had. I didn't make friends easily, it required a certain amount of trust, which meant vulnerability. Being on my own for long times had left its marks, it was common for me to tread carefully around others. Old habits were hard to shake off. Still I spent a lot of time together with my travelling companion now.

"Have you planned anything for tomorrow night?" I asked, looking at a poster of a new play at one of the smaller theatres. It was always better to assume that Armand had already got concrete ideas for the next few nights; and interfering with his plans was nothing I liked to do.

***

_Armand_

The night was warm as Santino and I walked through the Old Quarter streets, and the endless crowd of tourists, talking either in French or German, mingled with the local Spanish and Catalan, was different enough from the stream of tourists in New Orleans or Miami to allow me a new measure of peace. I had been to Barcelona before, but I had never had the time to really explore the city, and get to really know the people. I was enjoying myself greatly, but a great part of the adventure was not about the city, but getting acquainted with my former coven master and now friend. I had never thought that the one vampire whose presence had unsettled me the most whenever I had met him would be the one whose company would help me heal so many wounds.

He was a quiet companion, but a quite interesting one. We would have endless discussions about many matters that interested us both, that would lead sometimes to heated discussions, mostly because sometimes it was difficult for me to hold my temper when I made my points. Whenever I got too excited, Santino would laugh softly and remind me of the need for some self-control, and that would be enough for me to calm down. It was strange, but after the long forgotten battle of wills in Venice, five months ago, I had not been able to call on the indifference mask I used to wear in front of him. Somehow it didn't seem necessary anymore. We would also enjoy an occasional chess match when we were not up to go out, but mostly we would walk through the streets endlessly, mingling with the crowd. Sometimes I would even engage in debates with mortals, in some of the places we visited. Santino didn't like this much, but it was a good way for him to practice his Spanish, even though he insisted that I enjoyed too much his occasional mistakes. I did. But what I really enjoyed was his company, and there was enough space between us for him to go alone sometimes. But mostly we spent the nights together.

This was one of these nights, and we were standing in front of a small theater, and he seemed to be interested in one of the plays. He was asking me if I had plans for the next evening.

"Not really," I said, turning to look at him. He had clipped his hair short and somehow I missed the mass of shining black hair, even if he would hold it back with an elastic band. "Maybe we could attend this?" I said, pointing one of the posters announcing the plays. He nodded, and smiled. He had such a beautiful smile! "But you will have to buy the tickets," I said. "That way you can practice some more." This time he laughed outright.

We walked for a while still, as there were some hours left before dawn. Our hotel was not far, and Santino wanted to stop at a bookstore, an old shop where we could probably find some ancient texts. It always gave me a sense of continuity to read some old book, to realize that many an idea I had pondered about in my youth, was still being discussed in the present time. I followed Santino, as he rummaged through the shelves, looking for some old philosophy book. I was looking around, distractedly, without really thinking of buying something, until I saw some old prayer books. I reached down for one, antique, fifteenth century. I froze. It was an identical copy of the one I had had in my mortal death bed, and the flood of memories it brought was too much for me. I let the book drop to the floor, and Santino turned immediately to look at me. He retrieved the prayer book from the floor and placed it again in the proper shelf, taking then my arm and urging me to leave. I was calming already, and I waited for him to pay for his new acquisition and then we were out of the store.

We walked in silence for a while, but I could feel Santino's eyes on me. He seemed to be pondering how to ask about this, worry plain on his features. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Amadeo, are you alright?" Some time after we left Venice together, Santino had come to use my old name again, and I had not corrected him. I was Amadeo to him, and it sounded right when he called me like this.

"Si... I'm fine," I said, my voice raw. "I'm sorry... it was only that..." I stopped talking, his dark eyes distracting me. This had been happening for the last two weeks, and I didn't know what to do of it. I sighed, looking away.

"Let us go back to the hotel," Santino said, still looking at me.

I nodded, just to escape his piercing gaze. I didn't want to tell him about the prayer book, I didn't want to remember my mortal life. Or Marius. I had been happy until now, and I wanted to stay like that.

We resumed our way, and Santino was about to call a cab when a sound neither of us could ignore, the sound of a powerful immortal heartbeat, made me turn around. I gasped. A tall figure was standing a few paces from us, the blue eyes fixed on Santino with undisguised hostility. I felt my traveling companion stiffening and closing his mind. Then the cerulean eyes turned to look at me.

"Good evening, Amadeo," Marius said, in a calm controlled voice. "I have found you at last."

***

_Santino_

We both turned around when we heard that steady beating, and I could hear Armand gasp, as surprised at seeing Marius as I was. Of course I had been aware of the possibility that Marius might search for his lost fledgling, but never had I thought that it would really happen. But here he was, dressed in jeans and the obligatory red shirt, white hair held back by a black ribbon.

He stared at me, ice blue eyes full of animosity, which I didn't understand. What had I done to deserve his anger? I wasn't aware of offending him in any way; when we had met the last time there had not been any of this hostility. And I hadn't come near him since then, I had been traveling with Armand... I felt like slapping myself into the face for not realizing this earlier. Marius must have been thinking that I had kept Armand from him on purpose, that I had planned to separate them again. I couldn't even blame him for believing this; after all the reason for their first parting had been me, so why not hold me responsible for the second one as well.

Still he was scrutinizing me; impossible to tell what he would do next. I tensed, veiling my thoughts as well as I could, though he would surely be able to read me if he wanted to. Stand still, I told myself, do not move. For what seemed hours to me he stared at my face, then he finally averted his gaze. I exhaled slowly, I hadn't noticed that I had been holding my breath. Concentrating on not showing that these moments had unsettled me at all, I saw that he was now looking at Armand, his face not reflecting any emotions anymore. The blue eyes were clear now, his voice calm. An admirable display of control, there were not the smallest traces left of the anger he had only showed seconds ago.

Armand was pale, looking like a child that was reprimanded by the strict father. He met Marius' eyes briefly, then dropped his gaze, stared at the ground. Watching him, I tried to see if he was trembling, which usually was a sign that he was upset, but if he was, it was too faint for me to notice. I had been standing behind him, and without really being aware of moving, I went at his side, accidentally touching his hand in the process. The soft skin was cold, even though we had hunted only an hour ago. I cast Armand a quick glance, to see if he had noticed.

"Come, Armand," Marius' voice was incredibly even for the situation, not the faintest trembling could be heard. "We will return to the others." He held out his hands, waiting for Armand to take them, but his fledgling didn't move a fraction towards him. I could see that Marius was confused, apparently he had thought that Armand was just waiting for him to come and take him home. Again he stared at me with open animosity, until I finally averted my eyes. "Armand," he tried again, "I will take you home now. Your children are waiting for you."

A pained expression on his face, Armand shook his head slowly. He was still staring down, his hair covering most of his face. I wanted to scream at Marius for being so thoughtless. Hadn't he realized by now that they had been one of the reasons for Armand to leave at all? Why didn't he see that mentioning them would only hurt his child, and drive him further away? Now it was me who cast Marius an accusing glare, which he pretended not to notice.

Now Armand raised his head, brushing the curls out of his face, and looked at Marius.

"They are not my children," he said, quietly. "They are yours."

***

_Armand_

I felt pain, a pain so deep that I believed my heart would break when I heard Marius' last words. Your children are waiting for you. So he had not come for me, he had not wanted to make sure I was alright. Marius just wanted to take me back to New Orleans so I would take care of a duty that wasn't mine anymore. I just couldn't believe he had only come on account of them! And yet, seeing my maker in front of me, listening to his words, I was starting to realize my soul wasn't chained to Marius' will anymore. I didn't want to go with him. I wouldn't have wanted to go even if he had come here because he wanted me. And this alone was confusing enough; after all, I had come to Europe running away from my love for him.

But Marius was only my maker now, my immortal father. And that was the reason his words were hurting me. Every child wants to believe that he is unique to his father, that he is loved by himself. But for Marius I seemed to be only the caretaker of his new children... and nothing more! My decision suddenly was made. I would not go back with him... I couldn't. Sybelle and Benji were not my children anymore, and looking at him again, I told my maker that my children now were his. I could see Marius' eyes widening in surprise, and I believed, for a moment, that he would say something harsh. But his eyes cleared again, and he just looked at me with pained eyes.

"Armand," he said, his voice gentle. "They are still your children, they need you."

"No," I said, holding his gaze. "Not anymore. I don't want them."

"You can't just abandon them!" Marius' voice was stern now. "You brought them to us, and if they are vampires now, it is because I made them for you!"

"But I don't want them!" I snapped. "I know it was my fault for bringing them to us... for trusting you!" I paused, fighting for some semblance of control. Santino's brief touch in my hand had given me a much needed support. But I could feel my strength slowly being drained by my Master's words, by his reasoning. "I know I am to blame as much as you, but I won't go back to them," I managed to say. "For once, Marius, take care of those you make!"

I never saw his hand coming on me, but the stinging pain on my cheek, and Santino's arms supporting me, were proof enough that Marius had lost his temper at last.

"Have you gone insane?"

Still dizzy I could hear Santino's accusing voice. No! I wanted to say. Do not confront Marius! Not on account of me...

"Stay out of this, Santino," Marius said, his voice laden with anger. I placed a hand on Santino's chest, trying to stop him from speaking further words, but suddenly I saw him wincing in pain. Bewildered, I looked back at Marius, and realized he was doing this! His blue eyes were dark, and his gaze was training unmercifully on my companion.

"Stop!" I cried, rushing to Marius and shaking him. "What is this, Master! Why do you come in such anger!"

Marius shook his head, as if trying to clear his thoughts, and he looked at me. He raised a hand to my cheek, and his thumb caressed the still hot skin. His eyes were clear again.

"I am sorry, my child. We will talk again." He glanced at Santino, who was still behind me. I didn't dare to look at him. "I will come to you tomorrow. Tonight doesn't seem the right moment anymore." And then he was gone.

I turned to look at Santino, who was leaning against a wall. I rushed to his side, and supported him until he was able to stand on his feet by himself. He was pale, so pale I believed he would faint. But he was stronger than that. His eyes focused at last, and he looked at me, touching my cheek. I realized he was burning with anger.

"I am sorry," I said, my voice uneven. "Thank you for defending me."

***

_Santino_

He had hit him. Marius had hit Armand. The sheer incredibility of what I had just seen was dazzling me. Marius, patient Marius, how deep had Armand's words touched him to cause such a reaction? To see him lose his temper was a sight to behold, for I was sure that it was a rare one. Armand's head was resting against my chest, and I could see the streaks on his cheek. Red on white, fire on ice. He stirred, blinked a few times, as if he too couldn't believe what had happened, that his maker had done this. In Armand's autobiography I had read that Marius had sometimes slapped or hit him when he still was a mortal child, it had merely been a matter of education. But Armand was not a child anymore, he was no longer a boy who would be reprehended for his mistakes. Didn't Marius see this, couldn't he accept that his child had finally grown up?

"Marius, what do you think you are doing? Have you gone insane?" I glared at him, feeling anger radiating from him in uncontrolled waves. His eyes were not clear blue anymore, but darkened, the color of thunderstorm clouds.

"Stay out of this, Santino." Marius' voice was so full of hostility that it scared me. But it made me angry as well, he had no reason to use such a harsh tone when talking to me. As far as I remembered I had not offended him in any way, if he was just looking for somebody to blame, it would not be me this time. And he knew, or at least suspected what I was thinking. Again he stared at me; impossible to escape those blue eyes. And then I felt it, a chill in my body, my chest... and a hand reaching for my heart, holding it painfully tight, crushing it slowly... would he kill me now? Take revenge for something I thought he had forgiven? I was sinking into sheer agony, my whole world consisted only of pain, and finally blackness.

When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I saw was Armand, clinging to Marius, his head bent. Marius' lips were moving, but I couldn't make out the words. I felt that I was leaning against a hard surface, a wall maybe, or was I lying on the ground? Every breath hurt, I was trembling, my legs barely supporting me. Black spots danced in front of my eyes. Don't faint again, don't faint, I repeated over and over in my mind, concentrating on the words. Marius raised a hand, would he slap Armand again? No, he only touched the still reddened cheek gently, and then those blue eyes looked at me again. I wanted to run, to flee those inescapable eyes, but as soon as I tried to move, a wave of dizziness cursed through me. Staring at him fixedly, I waited for that terrible pain to return. It never did. Marius vanished, I didn't even see him move.

Armand stared at the spot where his master had been standing moments ago, then he turned and looked at me, fear mirrored on his face. He suddenly was at my side, steadying me until I was sure I wouldn't fall. On his cheek the red streaks were still visible, I could see the skin healing. Marius had really hurt him, what right did he have to do such a thing? He couldn't punish without explanation, that was simply not right. But he had done it. I touched the marks with my fingertips, feeling the hot skin. So soft... how could anybody possibly hurt this face?

I heard Armand say that he was sorry, and thank me for defending him. Shaking my head slowly, I turned to look at him.

"He still hurt you. And he might do it again. And I am... " I was unsure if I should finish the sentence, if it was wise to say that I was angry as I had hardly ever been before, furious after this display of pointless power. All that Marius had achieved was demonstrating Armand who of them was stronger, did he really want his child to return to him out of fear? "I am worried for you," I finally said. Armand looked at me, and a sad smile appeared on his lips.

"So you too think that he will return." A statement, not a question, but I nodded nevertheless. "Come, we have to return to the hotel, dawn is near. We will talk tonight."

***

_Armand_

We took a cab to reach the hotel. I didn't want to risk the dawn coming too close, as Santino still looked pale enough to make me doubt he was able to walk. I had never seen him like this, not even when I had battled with him in Venice. I wanted to ask what exactly my master had done to him, but it seemed pointless as the results were evident. Marius had certainly hurt him... it chilled me to the bone to imagine my master could have killed Santino on account of me. We soon reached the hotel and, after making sure Santino was alright, I left for my room. I would have liked to stay with him for a while, I was feeling terribly guilty and responsible for what had happened. But I didn't ask; for all our friendship, I was still shy about some things.

As soon as the sun set I opened my eyes. My sleep had been plagued with nightmares, visions of my mortal children surrounding me, in happiness, until my master would come and turn them into vampires, while I watched helplessly, unable to move. In my dreams I had tried to stop him, only to be slapped on the face, the same he had done last night. And then, my two children, their skin white as marble, their eyes glittering in the night, would come and embrace me, and crush me until I died.

I didn't scream. This dream had visited me many times before I met Santino in Venice. And Marius' presence had brought it back. I left the bed, and hurried to take a shower and dress myself, scanning for Santino in the process. He was still asleep, which surprised me. He had never been asleep before when I awoke. This only unsettled me more and within a few minutes I was knocking at his door.

"I'll be with you in a minute, ragazzo," he said, as he opened the door. He was still wearing a robe, and I couldn't avoid looking at his half bare torso, and his beautiful hair, still uncombed. I took a seat in the small receiving room and waited while Santino dressed himself. I closed my eyes , and concentrated on analyzing what had happened last night. It still amazed me that my master had dared to slap me, but yet I knew my words had hit a nerve. And my children... no, his children now. Sybelle and Benji were not my children anymore, Marius took them from me and now he couldn't give them back. I left my seat and started to pace the length of the room. My mind was in turmoil. And what if Marius was right? What if it was still my duty to take care of them? And why had he attacked Santino? I had always believed that Marius' considered old debts already paid.

"Amadeo..."

I stopped pacing and turned to look at Santino who had come out of his room. He was dressed in black, as always, and he had tied his beautiful hair with an elastic band. And his expression had hardened, his eyes having acquired a fierceness that I had not seen in him before.

"How do you feel?" I asked, unsure of what to say.

"I'm fine." He looked at me, an the usual warmth returned. "And you, how do you feel?"

I knew that he was not talking about my cheek, that had been nothing compared with what Marius did to him. He was asking about my feelings, he was asking what Marius' presence in Barcelona meant for me. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and started pacing again. I had been asking myself that question since Marius showed up, and the only thing I was sure of was that I didn't want to leave with him, that my love for Marius was not that of a lover anymore.

"I feel... I don't want to go back with him, Santo." I had stopped pacing, and Santino gestured for me to take a seat. I did. "I know that this will sound strange to you, as I came from New Orleans running away from my love for him... I love him still, he is my maker, my father. But I don't see him as a man anymore."

Santino was silent, looking at me as I tried to make sense of my inner turmoil. The moments he looked away, the fierceness in his eyes would show again. But it always disappeared when he turned again to me. Finally he talked.

"He will return tonight, ragazzo."

"I know. And I have to talk with him. I have to make Marius understand that things are different now. I don't want him to get angry again." I looked down. "And I don't want him to hurt you."

***

_Santino_

A sharp noise ripped me out of my dreams; sleepily I turned to check the time. I blinked in surprise, for it was nearly an hour later than usual. I was an early riser, even compared to some of the ancient ones, and that I had overslept was more than confusing. Somebody was knocking on the door of my room; presumably this was what had awoken me. Scanning, I found that Armand was standing outside, and quickly put on a robe. I let him in and asked him to wait for me to get ready.

Standing in the shower, I tried to remember what had happened yesterday night, but my recollection was rather fragmented. My memory was clear regarding Marius, but what had happened afterwards I could only recall partially. I was aware of Armand accompanying me to my room, but how we had got back to the hotel I didn't know. It had been decades since the last time I had been that exhausted; I had an annoying headache, which could only be compared to a hangover. And all this only because Marius had suddenly decided that it was time for his fledgling to return to him.

I dressed in my usual black, and pulled my still damp hair back with one of these wonderful elastic bands which never untied themselves the way ribbons continuously did. For a moment I thought of shaving, but dismissed the thought again, since we would hardly go to a social event tonight. The only person I would meet tonight would be Marius, and for him I would not bother to go through that disliked procedure. It was a mystery to me how he could change so much; from the patient, understanding father figure to this commanding person. What was it that he feared? The loss of his child? But that was exactly what he accomplished through his reckless actions. I could not imagine that his behavior could be easily forgiven; at least I would not forget this attack for some time.

And Armand had been so much closer to him than I was; Marius had probably hurt him a lot more. I sighed, and went to join Armand.

A few minutes later my thoughts were confirmed as Armand stated that he did not look at Marius as a lover anymore. I tried to think of a suitable answer, something to comfort him, but then again I was not sure if comfort was what Armand really wanted. He didn't seem to really regret this... this loss. It troubled and confused him, that I could see clearly, but there was none of the pain he had shown five months ago. Well done, Marius. This time you have scared him away. Are you content now?

Armand really seemed to fear his maker now, fear his anger. He also was afraid that Marius might hurt me again, which made me angry. I had not intended to become involved in their troubled relationship, since I didn't want to lose the still fragile peace with Marius or Armand's friendship, but Marius had forced me to choose sides. And he had not liked my choice.

"Don't worry about me, ragazzo." I looked at Armand, who had finally stopped pacing and was sitting on a chair opposite me. "It is clear that he wants you to return to him, and I am not sure if he will accept a refusal. So what will you do? Have you thought of what you can say to him to make him understand what you want?"

"There is not much to understand. I don't want to go back with him." Armand ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that indicated his nervousness. "I still love him, but I can't go back. Not now."

I nodded, thinking once again that if Marius had been able to control his feelings and talk reasonably, we would not be in this situation. My respect for him, which hadn't been much anymore since Armand and I had met in Venice, was decreasing rapidly. It was amazing; for so long I had not thought Marius capable of making any mistakes, and that belief he was shattering thoroughly now.

"You should not talk to him alone," I suggested. "He might..." A familiar voice in my head interrupted me.

_::Haven't I told you to stay out of this, Santino? This does not concern you, it is a matter of Armand and me.::_ He was talking too loud, and I was quite sure that it was not unintended._ ::Tell him that I am waiting for him on the roof of this hotel.::_ I closed my eyes; mind-talking was not helping my headache at all.

"Santo, are you alright?" Armand looked at me, concern in his eyes. I nodded, regretting it immediately.

"Yes... Marius is here, he is waiting for you on the roof."

***

_Armand_

Marius was waiting for me on the roof of the hotel. I had seen Santino go pale suddenly, and even though he had told me he was alright, I knew it was not so. Marius was here, waiting for me, and I had to go to him immediately if I wanted Santino to be safe. I tried to make my face a mask, to conceal the increasing fear Marius' presence and continuous outbursts were bringing to me. But I knew Santino could read me now as if I was a fledgling. And he was worried.

I was worried too, and I agreed that talking with Marius alone was not the wisest thing to do. Since my maker took my children from me his behavior had not been the same. He could still be at times the loving and patient immortal father I remembered, but he would also be the one that would punish me if he believed I was making a mistake. And I was not the same lost child anymore. I needed his love, and would ask for his guidance if I believed I needed it. But I didn't need or want to be under his tutelage anymore. And yet I had to go to Marius, and tell him I was not going back. Would he listen to me?

"I have to talk with Marius," I said, leaving the chair. "But I must go alone. He... he seems to be angry at you, and he may not welcome your presence. Don't worry about me," I said, trying to smile and reassure my companion. "He won't hurt me... I don't think he will hit me again. I will be back."

I left the room, and soon I reached the roof. My maker was there, and as soon as I saw his face I felt relieved I had not allowed Santino to come with me. Marius seemed about to lose control.

"I am here, master," I said, and suddenly I was being lifted into the air and taken somewhere by him. I pressed my face to his chest, trembling, alarmed that he had just taken me without even asking for my consent. I closed my mind, praying that Santino had not felt my sudden distress. Marius was silent while he carried me, and that only added to the oppressing atmosphere his behavior was creating. Finally he landed somewhere near the sea, and he placed me on my feet.

"What does this mean, sir?" I asked, warily. "You come and take me, and bring me here without my consent?"

"We need to talk, young one," he said, unperturbed by my uneasiness. "And I'm sure you are aware I don't want Santino to intrude in our conversation again."

I felt the blood drain from my face. Was this an implied threat? Maybe I was just being paranoid, but Santino's face, wincing in pain, was imprinted in my mind.

"You have gone pale, cherub," Marius said, touching my cheek. "You are worried for him."

"I don't want you to hurt him again, master," I said, unsure of how to deal with my maker. "He is not to blame for me staying here."

Marius smiled, and this only unsettled me.

"He is not to blame? I don't think so. He took you once from me... but then maybe you are right. Maybe this time it is you who is to blame."

I was stunned. I couldn't comprehend what Marius was talking about. I was to blame for what?

"You abandoned your children in my house," he continued. "You just left and forgot about them... and yet you said you loved them. They saved your life and you left them behind."

I closed my eyes, fighting for control. I could feel the guilt, and a deep sense of unworthiness slowly taking hold of me. They were my children, yes. They had saved me, and I had thrust them into Marius' arms. I was to blame for what had happened, I was as guilty as him!

I felt Marius' arms enclosing me, his lips kissing my temple, his voice so gentle as he spoke again.

"You cannot leave them behind, Armand. You owe them."

I was trembling, but Marius seemed oblivious to my pain.

"Come with me, cherub. I will take you back, and I will forget you have stayed here with the man that dared to separate us. I will forget how frail your loyalty can be."

I gasped, as if he had slapped me again. He was calling me a betrayer... and his voice was so full of pain. I saw him burning again while I struggled desperately in those filthy vampires' arms. I was engulfed suddenly in a sea of pain, and the sense of unworthiness grew stronger. I had chosen Santino's company over my master's company, and that had hurt my maker. And Santino... he had also been hurt... and all had been on account of me!

I nodded, defeated by his reasoning. He was right... I had to go with him. I had to leave Santino's company... I had to leave him. A deep pain settled inside my chest, making me tremble anew. I didn't want to leave... I so wanted to stay.

"Let's go then," Marius said. "The sun has not set in New Orleans still..."

I was about to go into his arms when something inside me suddenly broke. I could not go with him. I wanted to stay with Santino... but that was not possible anymore, was it?

"NO!" I backed away from his arms. "I can't... I can't go with you!"

Marius was looking at me with wide eyes, surprise mirrored on his face. I looked at him, and then I turned around and fled. I knew he could catch me easily if he wanted so, but he let me go, he didn't follow me. I ran, oblivious to my surroundings, oblivious to the mortals that would feel my presence like a sudden cold breeze. I had to get away from Marius, I had to hide somewhere. But I couldn't return to Santino... even if that was what I wanted to do. I couldn't risk Marius hurting him again.

"Santino...," I murmured to myself, and the blood tears were already staining my cheeks. "I'm sorry... I said I would be back, but I can't.... he may hurt you... I have to disappear."

***

_Santino_

Ten minutes had passed since Armand had left to talk to Marius. I had been tempted to try to read his mind, keep an eye on him, but then decided against it. What they did was none of my business, it only concerned them. Taking the old book I had purchased yesterday, I began to read in an attempt to let the time pass faster.

Fifteen minutes.

I scanned the city, but could find no trace of either Armand or Marius. Not very surprising, if they were shielding, it was impossible for me to find them. But why should Armand cloak his presence?

Thirty minutes.

Noises from the hallway, Armand? No, only some mortals staggering to their rooms after a long evening. Tourists, slightly drunk. They reminded me that I had not yet fed tonight.

Forty minutes.

The book was still opened on the first page, I was staring at the words, but not reading them.

Old-fashioned letters on yellow paper, a smell of dust and candlelight, cobwebs and leather. Armand should have returned already, what were they talking about that took so long?

Fifty minutes.

Too long. Something had gone wrong, or Armand would have been back by now. Had Marius hurt him again? I thought the Roman capable of everything after last night, he wasn't the Marius I had known and thought incapable of making mistakes. Again I tried to find them, tried to pick up the slightest trace of an immortal mind, but there was nothing, a perfect blank. Maybe they had left for New Orleans already? Marius certainly would not think it necessary to inform me about it, but what about Armand? Surely he would not leave without at least saying goodbye, would he? Closing the book, I stood; I did not want to stay in this room for any longer, so I could as well go and see if I could find a trace of them.

Wandering through the streets, I kept scanning and calling for Armand, and at the same time trying to shield from Marius. The thought that they could be gone already distressed me, though I could not say why. I had told Armand to return to his maker and his children when he felt ready for it, so what if this time was now? He had been confused, but maybe this talk with Marius had solved their problems. A tall figure that suddenly turned around a corner proved this line of thought wrong.

"Where is he?" Marius demanded, shooting me an angry look. "Where is he hiding, tell me!"

"You were with him, so don't ask me. If you can't keep track of your fledglings, it is your problem, not mine," I snapped, feeling my anger grow. There was no reason for Marius to be hostile, this time it had not been me who had taken Armand from him! It was his fault that his fledgling had disappeared, not mine, and I would not stand trial for something I had not done.

"What have you done to him that he doesn't want to return?" Marius' voice was trembling with hostility.

"I have done nothing, you are the one who has driven him away! All I've done is told him that he should return to you, but this obviously was a mistake! I should have told him to stay away from you."

"I warn you..." His voice was calm now, but with a threatening edge.

"Of what? What are you going to do, burn me on the spot? Do you think that this will bring him back to you? Go on, try it, and you will see if my ashes will make him return to you." I tried not to think too hard about the fact that at the moment Marius might seriously consider my suggestion. If this was my night to die, I didn't care anymore, all I wanted was... was what? Make him see my anger? Show him what he had accomplished with his impetuous actions? Or deal with my frustration that Armand might go with Marius and leave me alone again?

Marius glared at me for what seemed like eternities and what were mere seconds, then he was gone. I exhaled slowly; I had already let all hope go that I would survive this. Apparently he still was able to think reasonable, or maybe he didn't consider me worth the time it would take to annihilate me. But why he had spared me was the least of my concerns right now; I was more scared than I cared to admit to myself. What I wanted was to escape his presence and find a place to rest, to think. Not bothering to shield, since he had just proved that he could find me even when I veiled my thoughts, I turned and left.

I didn't know for how long I had roamed the empty streets when I found myself in front of the cathedral. A church, a place of peace, wasn't that what I had been looking for? Finding a small side door unlocked, I entered, feeling that special atmosphere that only exists in sacred places. The moonlight shone through the stained glass of the windows, illuminating the biblical scenes and casting colorful shadows on the marble floor. Silence surrounded everything, embraced me, comforted me.

But I was not the only one who had come here tonight. A small figure was kneeling on the floor of the side aisle, in front of the altar of the Mater Dolorosa. He made no sound at all, was perfectly still, like the statues of the saints that looked down at him from their pedestals. His head was bent, but still the stains on his cheeks were visible, crimson tears on white marble. An angel come to Earth, crying because of what he had seen. His hands were folded in his lap, was he praying?

I approached him slowly, deliberately making my steps audible to warn him of my presence, though if he noticed, he did not show it. Making the sign of the cross, I knelt down next to him on the cold, smooth marble floor, and waited, not knowing if he was aware of me at all.

***

_Armand_

I didn't stop running until I became out of breath. I was trembling, my head was hurting, and I had not the slightlest idea where I was. I looked around, and suddenly, in front of me, I saw a church. A beautiful cathedral, with high arches and panels of stained glass. It seemed to be calling to me, its silence, the quiet comfort of such a place. I entered, using a side door that was unlocked. Beautiful gothic images welcomed me, transporting me to olden times when I was still a mortal boy, and Marius was the world for me.

Marius! My maker, my immortal father, my once lover and master. What was left of all the love and happiness we had once shared? I closed my eyes, hugging myself and shivering. Marius was no more a comforting father to me, he was no more a lover. Marius was now the demanding father, who would punish his son's betrayal. My shivering got worse, and I started walking to try to still my limbs. Betrayal! How is it possible that a single word, coming from my maker's lips, could hurt so much! I had abandoned Marius, abandoned my children. I was a worthless creature that deserved whatever pain I had endured in my long life. But something in me rebelled against Marius' judgment, a tiny voice that said that I was no betrayer, that it was my master who had failed me once again. That I had done well in staying with Santino. That I should go to him again.

I stopped walking, and high above me I saw the altar of the Mater Dolorosa, the Virgin with her Son. I froze, and my head suddenly swam. I was no more in Barcelona, walking through the cathedral, after having run from my maker. I was in Torcello, in the old cathedral of Santa Maria Assunta, surrounded by severe images of saints, so similar to the ones I had painted on wood in the Monastery of the Caves. I sank to my knees, trembling, my head bowed, my heart laden with grief. I was guilty of betraying those who loved me, and whatever judgment that would come now on me, I deserved it. Little by little my trembling subsided, and I grew numb, stopped feeling my body, and I stayed there, kneeling on the cold floor, oblivious to the world.

I don't know how much time had passed when I heard a voice, calling me by my name.

"Amadeo... are you alright?"

I turned around and I saw Santino, kneeling beside me, his eyes reflecting his worry. I almost went into his arms, I so much needed his strength to support me! But suddenly it was not Santino, but Marius who was at my side, and I backed away, stumbling on the floor, and screaming. He had followed me, and he would force me to go with him, and I would have to leave Santino... I screamed again, but a hand was on my mouth, and a strong arm encircled my waist, preventing me from running away. A voice, old Italian, familiar to me, talked directly to my mind.

_::Ragazzo, calm yourself! It's me, Santino.::_ I tried to escape still, but someone was holding me close, stroking my hair, and talking to me. _::Hush, everything will be alright. You are safe.::_

I surrendered to that voice, it gave me peace, and a sense of safety. I collapsed against the strong body of whoever was holding me upright and guiding me to a seat. The voice was still in my mind, holding me to reality, preventing me from drifting again. I opened my eyes, and I saw Santino kneeling in front of me, peering, troubled, into my eyes.

"Santo..."

The look of relief in Santino's eyes was so great that it confused me. I was still unaware where I was, but it soon came all to me and I started trembling again. Santino took a seat beside me, and embracing me, he tried to calm me.

"Santino... you must go... Marius may come, he may hurt you!"

"I won't leave you alone, ragazzo."

"But you must!"

"No. Tell me what happened. Did Marius hurt you again?"

I was becoming desperate. I wanted Santino to be gone, away from my master who might harm him. And then I would leave, disappear, where nobody could find me... I tried to stand up and leave the church, but Santino's hands on my arms prevented it. He had read my mind, and it was clear he was not going to let me go without an explanation. It could be read in his eyes, those eyes that could entrance me when I looked at them!

"Tell me."

I looked away, defeated. What I was going to say would be difficult enough without having to look into his eyes, without having to see the confirmation of my fears. That I was really the loathsome creature that betrayed and hurt all those that dared to love him. I sighed.

"He said... I should return to my children, that I had abandoned them. That I left those who I claimed to love... that my loyalty was too frail..." I stopped, unable to continue, and feeling a lump forming in my throat. But I could not cry now, or Santino would never let me leave. I had to be strong. I somehow managed to recover my voice. "I can't return to my children... when I was in Marius' house I couldn't stand the sight of them." I paused, visions of my nightmare filling my mind, making me shiver again. "I have to leave, Santo. I have to hide... I fear..." I raised a trembling hand to Santino's face, resting my palm against his cheek. "I cannot bear the thought of seeing you hurt again."

***

_Santino_

"He will not harm me, Amadeo, there is no need to be afraid of this." If Marius had wanted to harm me, he would have done it already. The chance he had been given had been perfect; no witnesses, nobody would know what had happened. Judging my reputation, the rest of the coven would probably have thought that Marius had killed me out of self-defense. But he hadn't done it, and that gave me reason to hope that he was at least beginning to think reasonable again. He had spared me, thus making me rather sure that he would not try to harm either Armand or me again. Of course this was something I could not tell Armand; if he heard of my encounter with Marius, it would only frighten him the more, and that really was not necessary at all.

Holding Armand, I could feel that he was still shivering. Why was it that Marius always was the cause for him to be in this state? At Venice he had been afraid to return to his maker, now he feared that Marius might take him back by force. And all that trouble only because of a misunderstanding; two mistakes Marius had made and never thought what they could mean for Armand. Two fledglings, threatening to break their relationship; or maybe it had already been broken, and only shreds remained.

I began to gently stroke his hair, and tried to read his mind again to see if he had calmed already, or if his thoughts were still in turmoil. His panic attack had frightened me, I had been scared that he might have gone insane, that the fear of Marius had driven him over the edge. What a relief it had been to hear him say my name, to know that he was again aware of his surroundings. But still there was trepidation dominating his thoughts; another shock, and he would panic again, and I prayed that everything remained as quiet and peaceful as it was.

He was still touching my cheek, and I took his hand in mine to stop the trembling. I thought that he would cry again, he had been fighting against the tears when he had talked. But now he seemed to calm a little, his eyes weren't so wide with fear anymore, and his pulse had slowed again. He turned his head, and when I looked in the same direction, I saw the statue of the Mater Dolorosa, the face of the Virgin full of pain over the loss of her child. Was Armand feeling the same about his Sybelle, his Benji? I remembered a nightmare I had seen in his mind, images of his children crushing him to death. And one thought he had repeated over and over; that he was guilty of their death, that he hurt everybody, that everything was his fault. Marius would pay for this, for suggesting him that he only brought pain. What had he hoped to gain through this?

"Amadeo," I began, waiting until he looked at me again. "Ragazzo, you cannot be blamed for what has happened." For a moment he stared at me in silence, then averted his gaze.

"It is all my fault," I heard him whisper. "All my fault. Marius said that I am a betrayer." Sighing, I vowed that if I could get my hands on the Roman, he would regret ever coming here. At the same time I was well aware of the fact that he could torch me in a second if he wanted. But that did not matter at the moment; I just could not stand the thought of Marius commanding and controlling.

"I will leave," Armand was struggling to free himself from my embrace, and I let go of him, afraid that he might think himself trapped and panic again.

"Why?" Again he stared down at the ground.

"I... I fear that Marius will come and take me back to them. I have to go." He slowly walked towards the door through which we had entered. I frantically searched my mind for something to say that might keep him back; a way to persuade him that he didn't have to hide. That he would leave, now that we had come to a new understanding, was something I could not simply accept.

"He won't force you, that I will not allow." I tried to sound as convincing as possible. The silent shadow that had nearly reached the door stopped, and turned to look at me.

"Do you really believe that?" His voice told me that he knew very well that if Marius really wanted to make him return, I would hardly be able to prevent it.

"No." He gave me a sad smile.

"I thought so."

"But what are you going to do? You can't hide from him forever." I hoped that he could not hear that I was running out of things I could say to him.

"I have to try."

_::Well done, Marius. Very well done. You tried to win him back, and what you have accomplished is that he will try to never let you see him again. Congratulations.::_

_::Stop it, Santino. I don't...:: _I shut my mind the very moment I heard his voice in my head, so I could not hear what he meant to say. Carefully I tried to scan for him, I had to know where he was now, and when I found him, I drew back immediately, shocked to find that he was standing just outside the cathedral.

***

_Armand_

Santino was holding me, and I was resting in his arms, trying to still my mind. He was stroking my hair, speaking softly to me, and if I closed my eyes I could pretend that we were in Venice and that soon we would leave the city and travel around Europe again. He was saying that Marius would not hurt him again, that I needn't hide, that I was not to blame. I wanted so much to believe he was right, that I could stay here with him, that Marius' coming and accusations had been only a bad dream. For a moment I even dared to believe in it, I dared to hope... but I knew I was deceiving myself. My master had almost killed Santino, and then he had forced me to go with him to that beach without even asking for my consent. I couldn't stay. I looked at Santino for the last time, and my heart broke inside my chest. I didn't want to leave.

He tried to stop me, he tried to assure me that nothing would go wrong, that he would have Marius leave me alone. But I knew that would put Santino into great danger. I couldn't allow him to try. Standing there, in the dimness of the cathedral, I finally knew the answer to the question I had been afraid to ask myself in Venice. Did I love Santino? I knew the answer now, even as I turned my back on him and started to walk again. I loved him, more even than before, and being separated from him would break my heart.

I reached the door, and still I felt compelled to stay, to ask Santino to come with me. To leave with him where nobody could find us again. But that was not possible, so making a great effort I left the church. The moon was full, but the shadow that formed on the floor was not mine. I raised my eyes, and there, in front of me, I saw my master.

"Marius..." My heart skipped a beat. Calm down, just calm down, or Santino will notice and come, and Marius might hurt him. I shielded my thoughts, and looked at my maker, trying to still the trembling of my hands.

"Amadeo, why did you run from me?"

I froze when he called me like that. It was the name he had given me in Venice, but he had not used it in a long time. Only Santino called me that now.

"I don't want to return with you," I said. "I can't."

"But why?" Marius' voice was kind, and this only sent a wave of guilt over me. I could feel Santino touching my mind, worried. I tried to assure him that nothing was wrong, and I begged him not to come. "It is because of Santino, isn't it?" my master said suddenly, his eyes reflecting the same anger I had seen in them when he first came to us.

"No!" I exclaimed. "It is not because of him... Master, I can't stand the sight of Benji and Sybelle, it hurts and disturbs me. I loved them as my mortal children... but you took them from me."

Marius' eyes widened in anger, and I backed away, afraid that he might slap me, or worse, snatch me up in his arms and take me back to New Orleans by force. But he reigned himself in, and only the trembling hands denoted his anger now. He started for the door.

"Master!" I tried to stop him, to block his way.

"You love him!" His words were an accusation, a confirmation of his previous judgment on me. And I saw Santino's death sentence in them. I panicked. I ran inside the church and stumbled on Santino, who was already coming towards the door. He steadied me, and then he pulled me behind him.

"Stop this, Marius!" he exclaimed. I tried to make him go, to prevent him from confronting my maker. But he didn't pay attention to my words, and I could feel anger radiating from him.

"This is the last time I warn you Santino," my maker said, his voice as cold as steel. "I won't tolerate your intrusion anymore! Armand obviously wants to stay here, and forget about his children. And for this you are to blame!"

"Master, please!"

"I won't allow you to force Amadeo in any way!" Santino continued, slightly raising his voice. "Can't you see that you are hurting him?"

"You are not the one who is going to teach me how to treat my fledgling!" Marius exclaimed. "He has forgotten how you treated him in Rome, but I still remember! Armand, come with me."

"No!" Santino's exclamation startled me. I was starting to lose my hold on reality, and what happened next was like a slow motion movie for me. I saw my master coming on us, trembling in anger, as the colors of the cathedral danced madly around him. I saw his hand reaching for me. And I saw Santino's fist stamping on my maker's face. I gasped when Marius fell, but he was up in seconds, his face reflecting pure hatred and rage.

***

_Santino_

Armand gasped as Marius fell to the ground; I could feel his fear, his confusion. His thoughts had started to drift again, and he seemed not to be fully aware of what was going on around him. I wasn't even sure if he had noticed that I had struck Marius until I felt his hand start to tremble in mine as his maker lay motionless on the marble floor.

Marius got to his feet after a few seconds; his face a grimace of anger, hate and, which surprised me, also a hint of fear. What was he afraid of, me? Certainly not, I presented no real danger to him. At least not physically... but maybe he was scared of the possibility that Armand might choose my company over his, that he would lose his child to me. His eyes reflected his fury; surely he had not expected this to happen, had thought that I would watch as he commanded Armand to go with him. Raising a hand to his face, he wiped away the blood that was dripping from his nose, and stared at the red stains on his hand with what I would have called fascination in a different situation. Now it seemed more like hardly concealed ire to me.

"Santino... " His voice sent shivers down my spine, and I backed away a few paces. Marius followed, closing the distance between us until he could have touched me if he had extended his hand. "You will not stand between Armand and me anymore. Go." Staring at him fixedly, I frantically tried to think of a possibility to escape this situation, or at least gain some time.

"What are you going to do if I don't?" I hoped that he had not heard the slight trembling of my voice; show fear, and you are vulnerable.

"You will. I give you the order to leave me and my fledgling alone." My eyes widened in surprise and anger; this was outrageous!

"What do you think gives you the right to command? Your age? Your wisdom? I tell you what I think of you! You are a fool, Marius de Romanus, if you think that you can give me orders! I'd rather die than do your bidding! And I certainly won't allow you to force Amadeo to anything!"

"How dare you! I ought to torch you on the spot!"

"Master, please don't..."

"Then do it!" I snapped, cutting off Armand.

"Armand, come to me, and I will spare your reckless companion." Armand struggled to free himself from my grip, but I didn't let him go.

"Only over my dead body." Marius raised an eyebrow, and a malevolent smile appeared on his lips.

"That can be arranged."

"No! Master, don't harm him!" Armand pleaded desperately, and Marius looked at him, expectantly.

"Why not?"

"Because I love him."

What? Speechless, I stared at Marius, then at Armand, whose eyes were still fixed on his maker, full of fear. He loved me? Why? His friendship had been more than I had ever expected, and I had been content with it. But this... I didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think. This changed everything; never would our relationship be the same again. I was shocked, but there was something else, a feeling of such happiness as I had hardly ever felt in my life. In Venice I had told Armand that I had loved him as a student; but he was no longer a pupil. He was a friend, a confidant. And during the last five months I had more and more appreciated his company, to the point where I did not want to miss it anymore. I could as well admit it to myself that I had grown to love him. And now Marius wanted to take Armand away, back to a family he feared.

Turning my head, I looked at Armand, and what I saw was not the vampire, but the boy he had been. He was scared, terrified of his maker, and made no effort to hide it. His whole body trembling, he gave Marius a look that was so full of desperation, fear and pleading for forgiveness that it broke my heart to see his face. No, Marius would not take him back, and if I had to give my life to prevent it. This was no longer a disagreement between them, it had become a matter of trust and understanding that did not only concern only them.

Marius was still standing in front of me, his eyes fixed on the shivering Armand. He reached out for his child again, but I stepped back, dragging Armand with me.

"Let him go, he is my fledgling, and I will decide what is best for him."

"Are you really so blind? He is no longer a child, Marius!"

I did not see it coming, Marius moved too fast even for immortal eyes. Suddenly I felt something hard hit my face, and practically flew backwards. I fought against the momentum, but the sheer force Marius had swat me with made it impossible for me to stop. Finally I crashed into an altar, and was buried under flowers, candles and broken statues. Apart from the pain in my jaw and cheekbone, I was only slightly bruised. Looking at the debris around me, the pieces of white and gray stone, I saw the broken statue of the Mater Dolorosa, and the pained expression on her face no longer from the loss of her son, but from what had happened to her portrayal.

"I told you that this is none of your concern, Santino." Marius looked at me, his face a perfect blank, then he turned to Armand. "Come, Amadeo. We are finished here."

***

_Armand_

"STOP IT!!" My scream pierced the night even before my master had finished to talk. "Stop this madness, master, it has been enough! I won't go with you!"

Marius stared at me, speechless, but I didn't pay him more attention that a mere glance. I turned to look at Santino, fearing he would be badly hurt. Marius had sent him flying against the statue of the Mater Dolorosa, and now he was lying, immobile, under a mass of broken pieces of stone and glass, water and flowers spilled over him. I rushed to his side, and kneeling on the cold floor, I reached for him, oblivious to whatever reaction my behavior would bring from my maker. I cradled him in my arms, looking for whatever wound that had not healed still.

"Santino... Santo, please, talk to me..."

He blinked and opened his eyes, and I almost wept with relief. He looked at me, his eyes slightly unfocussed, and he raised a hand to touch my cheek. I helped him to his feet, hoping at the same time I could restrain him from confronting my master. He was only slightly bruised, but it had been close, so close... I shivered at the thought of what could have happened just because of me.

"I'm fine, ragazzo," Santino said, his eyes softening. But when he turned to Marius, his eyes acquired once again that fierceness I had seen before, and the fear I had been trying to control almost took me over again. Santino made to advance on Marius, to free himself from my arms, but I didn't let him.

_::Please, don't...:: _I sent to his mind. He looked at me, and then at my maker again, and this time he seemed surprised. I turned to Marius, and for the first time in this long night I saw understanding on his features.

"Master," I said, looking into his eyes, trying to appeal to whatever love he held for me. "Please, leave us alone. I can't go with you. I won't. Benji and Sybelle are not my children anymore, they have been yours since you brought them through." I paused, trying to find the right words. "Santino is not to blame for what has happened between you and I..."

"You love him... you really love him."

Those simple words, the same he had said outside the church, but now his tone was different. Dared I hope he would truly understand? And what about Santino? My confession had been a surprise for him as well, an unexpected and most probably unwanted revelation. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I needed to concentrate now, to make Marius understand.

"Yes, I love him," I said, not daring to look at Santino who was standing beside me, "and if that makes me a betrayer, so be it. I love you master, you are my maker, my father, but I can't deny what I feel for him."

"Alright, my child." Marius' voice was so sad that it made my heart ache, a new wave of guilt washing over me. "I can see now what I did to you, to myself, when I brought your children through. I meant to do well, but good intentions are never enough, are they?"

"Master..."

"I'm sorry, Amadeo. I should never have come here and try to force you back." He extended a hand and caressed my cheek, smiling even as his eyes were sad. Then he turned to Santino, his eyes resting a moment too long on him. I tensed, I knew this wound would take some time to heal, I knew how proud Marius was. "Take care of him," Marius said, and then he was gone.

I sank to my knees, relief bringing back all the trembling I had managed to conceal. I was shivering uncontrollably, unable to talk, and the blood sweat had broken all over my body.

"Amadeo!" Santino rushed to support me, and I rested my body on his, as everything started to dance madly around me. I tried to open my eyes, but small bright spots were blinding me.

"I'm... fine..." I managed to say, as Santino picked me up and took me to a seat.

"I don't think so," he said, as he took the seat beside me, embracing me, brushing the damp hair away from my eyes.

"I thought... he would kill you." I shivered, feeling suddenly cold.

"It's over, ragazzo," he said, "don't worry anymore about it."

I nodded, leaning still in his embrace, breathing slowly and trying to still my limbs. Everything was alright, Marius was gone, and in time he would understand. And most important of all, Santino was not badly hurt. I sighed, closing my eyes. I think I fell asleep.

"Amadeo, wake." Santino was shaking me gently, and for a moment I was not aware we were still in the church. "We should go hunt, ragazzo."

"Hunt?" I blinked, looking around. And suddenly it all came back to me. Marius and Santino fighting, the broken statue, my admission of my love for Santino... I was suddenly shy in front of him.

"Come with me, Amadeo," he said, taking me by a hand. "We will hunt, and then we will talk."

***

_Santino_

Taking Armand's hand, I led him out of the church, closing the side door carefully after us. When the first mortals entered the church in the morning, they would believe that the Mater Dolorosa had fallen from her pedestal and caused the mess. Of course the theory that vandals had done it would come up too, but would probably be dismissed as irrelevant when no unlocked door could be found. It would be thought of as an accident soon, without any closer investigations. Leave no traces of your presence, and you are safe.

Tourists were still wandering through the streets, but a lot of them were on their way home from the bars where they had spent the evening. We followed a pair of them, who were not walking anymore, but staggering along without really knowing where they were going. Soon they were lost in the small, winded lanes that led from the broad avenues into the old parts of the city. Here there were less and less people in the streets, and finally they were completely alone. At a crossroads they stopped, clueless where to go now. I smiled at Armand, and together we approached them slowly. They stared at us fixedly, foolish grins on their faces, not having the slightest idea what to think of these two pale figures who were standing in front of them.

I waited for Armand to make his choice, watching as he took hold of his victim. It still held a certain fascination for me to see him feed; we did not usually hunt together. The remaining mortal looked at his friend, who was held close by a young boy who was apparently biting his throat. He sobered considerably at the sight, and, after casting his swooning friend a last look, turned to run. I rushed after him, catching him with ease, and trapped him against the wall of a house. His face was flushed, and I could smell the alcohol in his breath, the sweat on his skin. He was struggling to break free, but I restrained him, my hand covering his mouth to prevent him from screaming. His pulse was flying, he was beginning to panic. No need to let him suffer any longer, I thought, and sank my fangs in his neck, frowning as I tasted his blood. I did not like to take from drunk victims, the taste of alcohol in the blood was something I did not appreciate at all. Draining him quickly, I withdrew as soon as I felt that the heartbeat stopped. Armand had finished as well, and together we hid the bodies at the bottom of a trashcan, where they would not be discovered for some time.

We walked south through the narrow streets, towards the seafront, neither of us saying a word. The silence, welcomed at first, soon became uncomfortable. I wanted to talk, but was afraid of it at the same time, and I was quite sure that Armand felt the same. But there were things that had to be said, questions that had to be asked. What use lay in waiting?

"How do you feel?" A neutral question, leaving it to Armand to decide where this should go.

"I'm alright." Apparently nowhere.

"Marius has left the city," I said after scanning for the Roman and not finding him. Of course he could be shielding, but I had the feeling that he had really gone. Somehow I felt sorry for him, despite everything he had done. From his point of view his reactions were understandable, though I did not appreciate them at all.

"I suppose he has returned to... Sybelle and Benji." Armand hesitated for a moment before he said their names. "They will be happy to have him back, they love him." I looked at him, trying to read from his features what he was thinking.

"Don't they love you as well?" I had only seen them once or twice, when they had still been mortal, and my general impression had been that especially Sybelle was infatuated by Armand.

"They do, but still..." His voice trailed off, and he shook his head slightly. "There is nothing that makes returning to them seem better than staying here."

Again we fell silent, and walked side by side until the street ended at the seafront. Armand sat down on the low stone wall that divided the beach from the promenade, and I settled next to him, looking over the sea.

"I am... glad that you are still here." He turned his head to look at me, an inquiring expression on his face.

"Why?"

"Because I enjoy your company. And during the last few months I have begun to..." I broke off, not sure how to say this. I had hardly managed to admit it to myself that I loved him, so how tell this to him? Feelings were something I had never really talked about; for half of my life, they had only been something that got in the way. And now I felt absolutely insecure, had no idea how to tell Armand that I loved him too. I was aware that he would believe that all I felt for him was the affection for a friend, knew that it was my turn to say those few words. But what if he had only said this to prevent Marius from hurting me? What if it had only been a matter of strategy? Then I would only make him feel guilty. I was at a complete loss.

***

_Armand_

I looked at Santino as he struggled to find something to say, some way of telling me, without hurting me, that he didn't feel the same kind of love I felt for him. Of course I knew that Santino loved me, he had said so in Venice, when we met five months ago. And he had proved it now confronting Marius, defending me even at risk of his own life. But it was only affection, like that you feel for a brother, for a friend, or for a former student that has grown up. It was affection and nothing more.

The silence was growing oppressing, my confession had ruined it all between us. There was none of our old companionship; Santino seemed to be nervous around me, uncomfortable. I sighed, closing my eyes. I would never have voiced my feelings like that in front of him without knowing if he felt the same. I hadn't even known I loved him that way until Marius threatened his life. But it was done, and I didn't regret my words. I was sure my master had spared Santino because he had realized that I really loved him. But my confession had unsettled Santino himself, it was plain in the way he had been looking at me since we left the church. I opened my eyes and looked at him again. He was tense, uncertain. He looked as if he wanted to be somewhere else. I looked away. I didn't want him to see my pain.

"You don't have to worry about not hurting me, Santo," I said, unable to cope with the silence anymore. "I understand, I know... I know you will never see me but as a friend, your child at most," I paused, still looking at the sea, the memory of his words in Venice warming my soul. I turned to look at him. "I am sorry that my words have unsettled you... I don't expect from you... I'm sorry."

I stopped talking, not knowing what else I could say.

"Amadeo... you mean... you really love me like that?"

I looked at him in silence, studying him, trying to guess the meaning of such a simple question. But we didn't play anymore these games between us, and I knew it. He was asking because he wanted to know.

"I love you," I said, forcing myself to hold his gaze, "every word I said in that church was true. But having your friendship is enough for me." I looked away, defeated. "I don't want to lose it."

"You are not going to lose my friendship," he said, taking my hand in his.

I shivered when he touched me, and cursed myself for having so little control. I was ruining it all! He had surely noticed, and this was probably making him feel more uncomfortable. He would leave, he would say that it was better for us to part ways.

"Amadeo, look at me."

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever would come now. I turned around slowly, and gazed at him.

"I love you."

I looked at him, speechless. Was it possible... was he saying that...No... it could not be. I closed my eyes, struggling to regain control, to recover my voice. I must have heard the wrong thing. Or maybe... maybe he was just being kind.

"Ragazzo..."

His hand was on my face now, and I couldn't suppress a new shiver. Why was he making this so difficult?

"Please," I said, standing and walking away from him. "You don't have to be kind... I know you mean well, but I can't bear it..."

"Amadeo, what are you talking about?"

He was standing behind me, I hadn't even noticed he had closed the distance between us. I could feel his breath, warm from the killing, on my cheek. He placed both hands on my shoulders, and made me turn around. I let him do. I stayed silent though. His touch, his closeness, were distracting enough, and I was losing my ability to think reasonably. I could only look at his beautiful eyes, that seemed to have developed the power to mesmerize me. And his hair... it was blowing wildly around his face, and all I could think of was of touching it.

"Amadeo," his voice brought me back to reality. I blinked and looked at him.

I love you, ragazzo," he said. "I'm not being kind. I hadn't realized it until now, but I know it for certain. I love you."

***

_Santino_

Armand looked at me, silent, apparently trying to find out what to think of this. It seemed that my words had not been what he had expected at all; but what had he assumed I would say? That I could not love him? That he meant nothing to me? I knew the answers to those questions. It was my fault that he had had no clue what I felt for him. Suppressing emotions were a habit that was hard to lose, and I had managed to hide this even from myself. No wonder that Armand had not known, he must have thought that I only wanted to spare him the hurt of being resented.

"I love you," I said again, amazed how easy it was to say the words again once I had been able to utter them. Still his youthful face was turned towards me, but now his expression had changed from surprise and concentration not to lose control to something new. Traces of hope, relief, felicity; together they formed the most beautiful vision, a sight I would treasure forever.

"You... Do you really... " The slightest trembling could be heard in his voice; he looked at me, brown eyes enchanting, impossible for me to turn away now. His gaze reminded me of a deer, the same fragility, the same elegance, the same timidness.

"Yes, ragazzo." I touched his cheek tentatively, afraid that he might dissolve, that this was only a dream from which I could wake any second. And then the sweet realization that I was not dreaming, that this was real, that he did not go up in smoke at my touch.

"I love you." It was beginning to seem absurd to me that saying these three words had presented such a problem. "And I thought that you... never mind." He smiled at me, and I could feel the warmth of his skin with my fingertips.

"I never imagined that I would ever be in a situation like this. When we met, I slammed you into a wall just for staring at me, and now I am mesmerized by your eyes." I laughed softly, remembering that night in Venice.

"I prefer the present to the past."

"Me too."

I still was not completely convinced that this was real. Who knows, maybe I had only dreamed of our encounter with Marius, maybe nothing of the last five months had happened. But I wanted this to be true, desperately hoped that I was awake, that this was reality. The wind had untangled my hair, and mechanically I tied it back again. Armand watched me, and slowly reached to touch a strand I had missed, holding it between his fingers. Our eyes met, and without being really aware of it, I leaned forward, closing what little distance still lay between us, and gently touched his mouth with my lips. He blinked in surprise, and for a second I feared that I had gone too far, had ruined everything, but then I felt him responding to the kiss.

The feeling sent shivers down my spine, all I wanted was this moment to last forever. His soft, warm lips against mine, the faint taste of him, mingled with the one of his last victim... so sweet, so gentle. So incredibly wonderful. My mouth touching the softest velvet, my eyes looking at an angel's face...

I had kissed him once before, but that had not been out of love. Back then I had done it to control him, to keep him quiet. Desperately he had been clinging to me, sure that only if he obeyed, he would be allowed to escape his nightmares and be taken out of the cell again. There had been no love in the kiss, no passion, only domination and obsequiousness. Nothing else. No emotions.

But that had been in the past, had taken place in a night long gone. What happened now was all that mattered, all I cared about. This time, I kissed him out of love, because I could not think of suitable words to express what I felt for him. And to know that he did not resent me, that he did not pull back was filling me with such warmth, such happiness as I had hardly ever felt in my life.

***

_Armand_

I was looking still into Santino's eyes, I was letting myself drown in those dark pools that seemed to call to me, to mesmerize me, to hold some power over me. But I was not really afraid to lose control, I was not afraid of letting myself be carried away by these feelings I hadn't even known I had some days ago. I loved him. And most incredible, Santino loved me too. I was still trying to grasp the reality of it, still feared it was my mind playing tricks on me. But his tall figure standing so close to me, his hand that was now on my cheek, his expression so full of love... I had never expected this nightmarish night to end like this. I had never believed that such happiness would be the outcome of so much fear and despair. I had never expected to have love again.

The wind was still playing with Santino's hair, making it dance around his face, a vision I had secretly enjoyed since the first time I saw those dark tendrils get loose before we left Venice. But he was tying it again with that damned elastic band. I liked so much to see it loose! Unable to contain myself anymore I reached for a strand of hair he had missed, marveling at its softness, at the way it shone under the moon. I wanted to free all that mass of shining black hair and hold it in my hands. I looked again at him, I looked again into his eyes, and slowly, as in a dream, he drew closer and kissed me on the lips. I was surprised for a second, I had not expected him to do it. I had not expected him to even love me, and now I was in his arms, feeling his mouth against my mouth, the slight touch of his unshaven cheek against mine, the scent of him so close to me. I answered the kiss, drawing him even closer, my hands caressing his back, and I still could not believe that he was kissing me. He was holding me close, and when he deepened the kiss, a shiver ran through my body. Was it possible to feel such love and such pleasure just in a kiss?

He finally drew back, slowly, still holding me in thrall with his eyes. I could not stop looking at him. I raised a hand to touch his cheek. I let it rest there, just feeling the slight trace of beard. Santino took my hand in his and kissed it, and then he lightly touched my lips.

"I love you," I said, going into his arms, resting my cheek against his strong chest. I felt safe in his arms, I felt so loved... and this was love without control or being controlled, something really new for me. "We are not dreaming, are we?" I whispered, not daring to move out of his arms.

Santino laughed softly, and his arms tightened around me.

"No, ragazzo. It's not a dream. We are together, and I love you." He was stroking my hair, the same he did when I was distressed, and yet it was so different now. I could stay forever in his arms. But it was time to go. Santino was looking at the paling sky. "We should be going back, Amadeo," he said, "or this will turn into a dream of one night."

I smiled. It was so good to hear the old humor in his voice. This was something I had discovered traveling with him in the last months, that he actually had a sense of humor. He was always so reserved in front of others. I was sure not many of us had seen this side of him.

"Let's go back then," I said. "But tomorrow I would like to leave the city... I will always remember Ba


End file.
